When God gives in.

 “Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen.”

-          Benjamin Disraeli. 

 

I am actually getting tired of posting about Southeast Asia.  I suppose it is not so much that I am tired, but rather I am anxious to finish and get caught up, so I am going to make these next entries brief, and this will be my last entry from Southeast Asia, the end of an incredible journey.  If only I could have enjoyed writing it, or you enjoyed reading it, one jot or tittle as much as I enjoyed doing it. 

  My last stops in Southeast Asia were Hong Kong and Macau.  My last night I spent in Hong Kong, a million things inside my mind, imagining the thrill of seeing my family, the excitement of going back home, and all the events from the last year and a half, my time living in Korea, the life I had there, and the adventures enjoyed on a long trail through a vast continent.  I didn’t know what I felt then, what I thought, and knew things would gradually sink in and unfortunately dim.  It is strange to think of how we can spend so much time on amazing journeys and discoveries and then be asked to share it all in two minutes time, and then it is finished; the journey is supposed to be over, but who we are and who we have become knows no other way.  It can be a struggle coming back from such things, no one understanding what it is like to be home and the hunger inside, the hunger to live more, to share the lives already lived, but how is it possible, and who ever gives real time to know?  Travel logs can be boring for those who did not venture on the journey, so perhaps it is a good thing no one really reads my words, or else they’d not return to read another.  Anyway, I digress.

Hong Kong is a beautiful and remarkable city.  It is crazy and gritty and alive and dirty, sophisticated and modern.  I visited Macau as well, another special administrative region of China with a whole new stamp in my passport.  Macau is oft considered the Vegas of Asia, large and luxurious casinos and spendy shopping malls, but also 400 year old ruins of catholic cathedrals from Portuguese colonial days.  I walked around seeing the sites and sights, tasting the food, walking gardens and parks, sitting in courtyards of cathedrals in shady corners, and roaming around the unfamiliar streets of Macau.

  In Hong Kong, I did much the same, explored various parts of the city, taking trains and ferries, and also the tram to the top of Victoria Peak for outstanding views of the harbor.  Hong Kong has an amazing skyline.  From Kowloon, staring out at Victoria Harbor at night is particularly beautiful, and each night, all the skyscrapers put on a light show on the harbor, the lights of the tall buildings changing in rhythm to music and dancing spotlights.  It was a fun laser show where lasers worked in unison with enormous skyscrapers of steel, lights beaming from glass windows and darting off high roofs.  Crowds thronged all along the harbor to watch and enjoy the beauty of the harbor on display.  I should have more to say about Hong Kong, more to say about Macau.  I liked them both, and could see myself going back.  I suppose they are only cities though, as many cities are, and are enjoyed more for the chaos and craziness, the energy and grit.  Hong Kong did have some amazing scenery and nature though, and it seemed the backside of the island was nearly empty and a dense forest of trees and hills that swooped amongst lapping waves of calm beaches.  Should I write more?  Perhaps I should.   I am sure I could, but this has been a long journey of reading and writing, and it must soon draw its end

Traveling, my friends, has definitely come to be what I find myself living for, my reason for things.  I’ll leave you with words from my journey etched in my journal.  I hope you’ll understand them.

  “I can believe in God again.  I can almost believe in everything I spent most of my life believing in.  Still, there is uncertainty, but I feel I can believe again.  I talk to God now.  I try not to ask for things, afraid of the frustration asking will cause.  Although I ask for little and still question His willingness to help with what I’ve always needed, I also just feel He will provide with other things, and those I can ask for.  I seem to know it will be taken care of, and I tell Him as much.  Traveling is good for me.  It is with this I seem to know He’ll take care of me.  I have had some hiccups in my journey, but all in all, it has gone swimmingly.  Traveling is manna to my soul.  It sustains me.  It helps me believe.  I can be grateful.  It gives me reason to be grateful.  It is not just because I see all these people in Asia and know that as uncertain as my future is, I have things easy in comparison.  I will likely never have to walk the streets begging or trying to sell small items from a basket or a push cart.  As a child, I didn’t have to sell books every night or spend all my free time working at my parents’ street side restaurant.  I got to be a kid when I was a kid.  I know my life is easier in many ways, but that is not why I say traveling gives me reason to be grateful.  It is because I feel God is finally allowing me something I want.  This is when God gives in and says “Yes.”  With the other things I always wanted, still want, worked for, cried for, begged for, with all that, He allows nothing, but here He finally says yes, and I am grateful.   I like this feeling.  I enjoy it.  I like the confidence and faith.  I like the gratitude.  I should travel forever.”

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train”. - Oscar Wilde